This blog is maintained by 3 chaps by the names of loneliness, sorrow and emptiness.
whispery .
Bad id: "amok813" (There is no flooble chatterbox with this id. It may have been deleted, or never existed. You can sign up for a new account if you wish.)
4 February 2006: Two of them came together... 19/20 April 2010: Two of them broke up... 4 years, 2 months and almost 3 weeks of relationship just gone... and to make matters worse, I was going to propose to her soon...
25 April 2010:
Decided I could not live on after learning of some things, which I will not elaborate. I just wanted the pain to go away. The pain in my heart. First, went to suffocate myself in a plastic bag. Couldn't as I panicked. Then tried to hang myself. Couldn't as it hurts too much. Then took 15 to 16 pills of piriton and a bottle of cough mixture to make myself more drowsy before I try again.
I tried again after the drowsy effect kicked in. But it failed again though for both methods, I managed to endure for a slightly longer time, which explains the pain in my throat (from hanging) ever since. Cursing, and crying at the same time, myself as a coward who wants to die but am afraid of pain, I then ingested another 50 pills which include paracetemol, synflex, antacid. They will not cause you to die BUT if untreated, will cause liver failure and will lead to death.
Somehow, she managed to persuade me to see the doc which I did. If you ask me, I will tell you I regret this decision because I had wanted to die for this pain to go away!!! If I can do it all over again, I will make sure I do not see the doctor. The psychiatrist saw me and told me the pain will be there but it needs time to go away. Everybody (including her) tells me time will heal the wounds but all of them don't know how much it hurts! The anti-depressant medication does not help and I have to get relaxant/sleeping pills just to sleep because all I can do is stare into space and let the tears flow.
I really don't know what to do... Life is meaningless... And the pain... It just won't go away... 原来童话故事都是骗人的。。 青蛙终究还是青蛙。。无法变成王子。。 或许你会说那可不一定。。 我赞成。。 因为我知道我不是有些人。。我是那只注定要孤独的蛤蟆。。 永远扮好自己的角色。。 一个平凡无奇，不起眼的癞蛤蟆。。
Sorry, D.. My temper, bad habits and me not loving you enough had pushed you away from me... I am sorry... I wished I could have noticed it earlier but I'm just a stupid fool... Sorry... Sorry to waste 4 years of your youth... I wish you happiness and the next guy you meet will definitely be a much better guy for you and I know for sure that he will be the one that you should say "I do" and not me...
别哭，你要很幸福。。 微笑，让我看清楚。。
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